Biblical Fatherhood

Scour the Bible for good examples of fatherhood, and you will find a few. But even most of those don’t give much detail.

Thankfully, one exemplary Father does shine forth in great detail.

God the Father is the perfect balance of a loving Dad who teaches, corrects, encourages, sets high standards, gives good gifts and offers increasing responsibilities. He is always faithful, deeply compassionate, forgiving and able to see the awesome potential of His flawed children.

In fact, He is willing to do everything possible to help us achieve that high calling—to become children of God and inherit all things!

And He gives helpful instructions to human fathers trying to follow in His footsteps.

What does the Bible say about how to be a godly father?

Godly fathers teach

God teaches us the way of life that works, that leads to happiness and satisfaction, that is for our benefit and that pleases Him.

And then He calls on us to teach that way of life to our children. Moses commanded us, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (Deuteronomy 6:7).

After instructing children about the promised benefits of obeying and honoring their parents, the apostle Paul wrote:

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

The word training is from the Greek paideia, which means “the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment)” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon).

“Admonition of the Lord” shows that God is to be the source of the words of exhortation and encouragement, which are “stimulated by a deep love” (Zondervan Expository Dictionary of Bible Words).

Godly fathers correct in love

Proverbs 3:12 tells us, “For whom the LORD loves He corrects.” Human fathers should also correct out of love, with the end result in mind.

Time and attention are some of the greatest gifts. The book of Hebrews expands on this thought. In spite of the pain we feel when being chastened, our loving Father does it “for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness . . . Afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:10-11).

Our human fathers have corrected us “as seemed best to them” (verse 10), but we can’t afford to rely on just our gut feelings. We can pray to God for wisdom (James 1:5) and study His approach to loving correction, which builds positive relationships and has lasting benefits.

Godly fathers don’t provoke their children

Godly fathers are not to correct in a way that provokes their children to anger or discouragement (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). This certainly means fathers must avoid giving in to wrath themselves. We must not lose our temper and punish in uncontrolled anger.

It is easy to catch our children doing things wrong. But it is also important to notice and appreciate when they do things right.

Encouragement and family support are essential. Edythe Denkin, author of Why Can’t You Catch Me Being Good? notes how “in the October 1998 issue of Time magazine, successful students from all environments listed their secrets of success as ‘family support, can-do spirit, persistence, church involvement, and diligence’” (2000, p. 4).

Anger and discouragement have always been dangers to young people, but research shows the threats to adolescent mental health and development have been amplified in this age of anxiety and social media.

For example, there has been “a sudden and very large upturn in major depressive episodes” in U.S. teens since 2010—roughly 150 percent (Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation, 2024, p. 24).

This can make the balancing act of being a good father even harder.

Of course, this does not change the biblical standards or the need to teach them and reinforce them. But it does increase the need to encourage rather than discourage and to show love rather than impatience and irritation.

Godly fathers give good things to their children

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught us to go to our heavenly Father for our needs. He used the natural tendency of fathers to give good things to their children to illustrate God’s far greater desire and ability to give.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

“Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:7-11).

Fathers are to care for the needs of their families (1 Timothy 5:8), working diligently and thus setting a good example for their children.

Sadly, today there are some neglectful or abusive fathers who would give stones and snakes or neglect their children. But a godly father will not only respond positively to requests, but will think deeply about the truly good gifts that will have lasting benefits for his children. Many of these gifts don’t involve money, material things or the latest technology.

Time and attention are some of the greatest gifts.

“Focused attention, in my experience, is the most demanding need a child has, because we parents have extreme difficulty in recognizing it, much less fulfilling it,” says Ross Campbell, author of How to Really Love Your Child.

Why? We may think other things we do are enough.

“For example, special favors (ice cream or candy), gifts, and granting unusual requests seem to substitute for focused attention at the time. These kindnesses are good, but it is a serious mistake to use them as a stand-in for genuine focused attention. I find it a real temptation to use this type of substitution because favors or gifts are easier to give and take much less of my time. But I have found over and over again that my children do not do their best, do not feel their best, and do not behave their best unless I give them that precious commodity, focused attention” (1977, p. 56).

Our loving Father is the perfect example of focused attention. He hears and He cares:

• “The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth” (Psalm 145:18).
• “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).
• “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, English Standard Version; see more in our article “God Hears Our Prayers”).

Godly fathers strive to not follow the bad examples

There are many examples of fathers who made serious mistakes in the Bible. (And in literature, plays, television shows, movies and in real life today!)

But a Christian father should learn from the bad examples and strive mightily to avoid pitfalls such as:

• Tolerating evil. For example, Eli’s sons arrogantly stole from the people and lay with the women who came to God’s tabernacle. Eli’s half-hearted rebuke did nothing to stop them, and their corruption gave God’s priesthood a bad name. It led to their deaths and the defeat of Israel (1 Samuel 2:12-17, 22-34).
• Favoritism. Dad loved the (slightly) older twin. Mom loved the younger. What could go wrong? See Genesis 25:28 and 27:1-46 for the lies, threats and division this caused.
• Harshness. King Saul was harsh and unreasonable even to his own children. He berated his son Jonathan and even threw his spear at him to try to kill him (1 Samuel 20:30-33).

Godly fathers strive to follow the perfect example of our heavenly Father

The Bible contains much about our loving Father, our ultimate example of fatherhood. Here are a few verses and resources for further study.

• “A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation” (Psalm 68:5).
• “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love” (Ephesians 1:3-4).
• “If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?” (Hebrews 12:7).
• “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world” (James 1:27).
• “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1).

Learn more about God’s example of fatherhood in the article “Knowing God as a Loving Father.” And study more about biblical fatherhood in the articles in the “Practical Tips for Positive Parenting” section of the Life, Hope & Truth website.