How Do You Handle Why?

God gave us inquiring minds. No other creature questions things the way we humans do.

The more we learn, the more we realize how much we still don’t know—how much there is yet to learn.

Biblical whys

This is true also of biblical knowledge. We ask a lot of whys as we learn about God, His creation and His relationship with us.

Why did God create man? What is our purpose in life? Did God create a devil? Why did He let him into the Garden of Eden to deceive Adam and Eve?

If God is all powerful, why is there so much evil and injustice in the world? Why does He allow war, oppression of the innocent and children’s diseases?

There are a lot of things in Scripture that are a mystery. Those things can fill our minds with a lot of whys.

Why, God? Why?

Then there are the whys that affect us personally. The death of a loved one. Divorce or the breakup of a close relationship. Discovering we have a terminal illness. Such traumatic situations often make us question why.

Have there been events in your life that created questions? Do you ever wonder why?

We pray and we hope for a particular outcome to something very important to us, and then we don’t get the positive answer we hoped for.

Why didn’t God answer my prayer? Why doesn’t God heal me or a loved one? If He has all power, why does He allow poverty and suffering?

Some have compared life to an elevator. It has a lot of ups and downs. Everyone has some trials—some difficulties—in life. Some of those we can reflect on and understand why they happened. But there are some we won’t be able to figure out. Why did this happen to me, or to a friend or loved one?

Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, survived the horror of the concentration camps during World War II, though most of his family members were killed in the Holocaust. Quoting Nietzsche, Frankl boldly declared, “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.”

But, of course, that depends on how we respond.

When we can’t find the answer

It’s not wrong to wonder or ask why. It is normal. The word why is found over 400 times in the New King James Version of the Bible. Why? can be an important question, yet we must realize that we may or may not come up with the answer. It’s when we don’t come up with the answer that there is a potential problem. Serious questions can lead to doubt in God’s love or even about His existence. We can become bitter toward Him or about life in general.

We must strive to not let that happen. Bitterness will just make matters worse and can separate us from God and His help. And it won’t bring answers as to why.

It is unrealistic to think that everything that happens is God’s will. Just because He allows it doesn’t mean it was what He wanted.

He has given humans the right to make their own choices. And with every choice there are consequences. Also, we can suffer because of our own or someone else’s choice. God allows us choices, and He allows consequences for both good and bad people. There is also the factor of time and chance that happen to all (Ecclesiastes 9:11).

Why trials?

Many of the things that happen to us are brought on by our own choices. But there are also times when God will test us with trials to turn us back to the right way. We can see an example of this in how He worked with ancient Israel after the Exodus.

In the end, the suffering of this life will be eclipsed by what God has in store. He reminded Israel, “Beware that you do not forget the LORD your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgments, and His statutes which I command you today . . .

“[God] fed you in the wilderness with manna, which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do you good in the end” (Deuteronomy 8:11, 16).

God wants to know absolutely that we will serve Him no matter what.

Peter explained the benefits of trials this way: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

And Paul encouraged us about the end results: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

There are times we’ll have no idea how things could turn out good. Our not knowing how doesn’t nullify that promise. So we believe Him.

Our trials can bring benefits, though now they are painful (James 1:2-4; Hebrews 12:11).

A trial isn’t joyful at the time, but good comes later. It’s a part of our training for the awesome future God wants us to have in His Kingdom.

“Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him” (James 1:12).

In the end, the suffering of this life will be eclipsed by what God has in store.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

Though it might seem as if a trial will never end, Paul reminds us that trials are temporary.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

David did not allow the things he didn’t understand to cause him to stumble.

“LORD, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me. Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time forth and forever” (Psalm 131:1-3).

That should be our determination as well.

Will we always trust God when trials come up? Hopefully we can grow to the place that we believe so deeply in His love for us that we can say as David did: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4).

Or will we allow those trials to create doubt or bitterness?

Waiting for an answer

Sometimes the answer comes later. But if it doesn’t, we may have to figuratively put it on a shelf and wait for an answer in God’s Kingdom.

There is an answer. God has it and will reveal it in time, whether in this life or the life to come. And when that happens, it will make so much sense to us. We’ll fully understand and appreciate even more His wisdom and love.

Are we willing to wait on God to intervene with His perfect help?

From “why me?” to “what shall I do about it?”

Have you wondered why? If you haven’t yet, you will at some point. Questions will arise about why God did something a particular way. Or why He didn’t do something. Why He allowed something—or didn’t stop something. Why He didn’t answer a prayer the way we wanted.

When that happens, know that we can go to Him in prayer and ask for understanding and patience. And if there is a lesson we need to learn, we can ask Him to help us come to see it.

As important as the question is, even more important is how we will handle the whys that we don’t understand. For how we handle them will determine our quality of life or if the event will make us or break us.

Hopefully, we can eventually come to the place where we can “get over the questions that focus on the past and on the pain—‘Why did this happen to me?’—and ask instead the question that opens doors to the future: ‘Now that this has happened, what shall I do about it?’” (Harold Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People).