If You Deny Me Before Men

Peter cursed and swore, vigorously denying for the third time any connection to Jesus. “Immediately a rooster crowed” (Matthew 26:74), triggering a memory of the prediction Jesus had made earlier in the evening (verse 34).

Peter may well have remembered another statement as well. Christ had warned the 12 disciples, “Whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 10:33).

No wonder Peter “went out and wept bitterly” after the rooster crowed (Matthew 26:75).

“Whoever denies Me before men” in context

When did Jesus offer this earlier warning, and why?

He did so as He prepared His core disciples to go “to the lost sheep of the house of Israel” (Matthew 10:6). Before the warning, Jesus told them to expect persecution along the way.

At the same time, He offered them comfort in the knowledge that God would inspire their very words (verses 19-20). On top of that, Jesus spoke of God as “your Father” (verses 20, 29), emphasizing the love of the Father for the disciples.

They would need this reassurance to face future trials.

While we remain in the flesh, we will have our moments of weakness and failure, just as Peter experienced. But we cannot remain in that state. After this encouragement, though, Jesus uttered His stark warning. In it, He changed the reference from “your Father” to “My Father” (verses 32-33).

The implication is clear. Our relationship to the Father is contingent upon our relationship to Christ. We cannot call God our Father if we deny Christ.

For that reason, it’s vital for Christians to understand what denial means.

What does it mean to deny Christ?

What we say—or don’t say—is important, but there is more to denying Christ than what we say. Denying Him can be as much about our actions as it is about our words.

This connection becomes clear when we examine another passage in Matthew’s Gospel that uses a more intensive form of the same Greek word for “deny.” This time the word is used about the requirement for disciples to deny themselves.

Once again, Jesus had been preparing His disciples for future persecution and suffering when He laid out the need for self-sacrifice in the Christian walk. “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24).

Denying oneself is not merely a matter of words. The clear sense is that of being willing to deny one’s own hopes, desires, dreams and ambitions in order to follow Christ.

Denying Christ, confessing Christ

Years later, the apostle Paul addressed the flip side of this issue when writing to the church in Rome. He did not write about denying Christ, but confessing Him.

Paul wrote that “if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9). Confessing in this passage, like denying in Matthew’s Gospel, means more than saying a few words.

The Greek word translated “confess” is homologeō. Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary describes this sort of confession as “being the effect of deep conviction of facts.” What Paul was pointing out to the Romans was the need for a complete commitment, not simply a verbal affirmation.

Immediately before making his statement, Paul had been considering a passage from the book of Deuteronomy. That passage (Deuteronomy 30:11-14) explains that what God seeks is obedience from the heart, not mere lip service.

God even rebuked Israel for such insincere words: “These people draw near with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but have removed their hearts far from Me” (Isaiah 29:13).

Such a heart

Recognizing the weakness of His people, God expressed this longing to Moses: “Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!” (Deuteronomy 5:29).

Wholehearted dedication to God is a common theme throughout Scripture. It is what God has always desired from His children.

In the very next chapter of Deuteronomy, Moses confirms the need to put God first: “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5).

Jesus repeated these words as the greatest commandment (Mark 12:29-30).

Many of the psalms speak of worshipping God with the whole heart (Psalm 119:2). Jeremiah records God’s charge that the nation of Judah, like Israel before it, had “not turned to Me with her whole heart, but in pretense” (Jeremiah 3:10).

In his epistle, the apostle James warned against being “double-minded” (James 4:8), another way of expressing a lack of dedication.

Denying yourself or denying Christ?

When Jesus warned His disciples against denying Him before men, He was reminding them that their words as well as their actions were to reflect a single-minded dedication to God.

It was a choice He put before those 12 disciples, just as Israel had been given the choice between “life and good, death and evil” (Deuteronomy 30:15). It is the same choice He puts before us today.

If a disciple is truly committed to following Christ, that individual will “take up his cross” (Matthew 16:24), enduring whatever is necessary to continue in a relationship with Christ and with the Father.

A disciple truly dedicated to following Christ will not deny Him.

What about Peter’s denial?

How, then, could Peter deny Christ three times?

Peter truly did deny association with Jesus that terrifying night leading up to the crucifixion. It was a momentary lapse of courage and faith.

Just a short time before, however, Peter had drawn his sword to stand with Jesus against the soldiers who had been sent to arrest Him, even cutting off the ear of the high priest’s servant (John 18:10). Though Peter shouldn’t have resorted to violence, he did show courage in trying to protect his Master.

The Gospels make it clear that among the disciples there were only two swords (Luke 22:38). That was two swords against “a detachment of troops” with their “weapons” (John 18:3).

Peter was prepared to fight alongside his Lord and Master. He was prepared to sacrifice, but he was not yet aware of the manner of sacrifice God desired.

He must have been stunned when Jesus told him, “Put your sword into the sheath. Shall I not drink the cup which My Father has given Me?” (verse 11).

Peter was confused, but he cared so much he followed Jesus to the courtyard of the high priest, putting himself among the relatives and fellow servants of the man whose ear he had cut off (verses 26-27)! Then, like all who follow Christ, Peter made a mistake. His three denials of Christ were during a moment of weakness, confusion and fear. His denials did not reflect what was truly in his heart.

Forgiveness and restoration

Jesus knew Peter felt anguish and guilt. He had been there when the rooster crowed. He had “turned and looked at Peter” (Luke 22:61) at that precise moment.

Unlike Judas, Peter responded to his guilt with heartfelt repentance. Instead of giving up, he moved forward.

Christ did not allow Peter’s lapses to destroy their relationship. After His resurrection, Jesus singled Peter out to answer a question: “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” (John 21:15).

Peter confirmed his love for Christ. Jesus responded by telling him to “feed My lambs,” then asked Peter a second time and a third time whether he loved Him (verses 16-17).

In each case, Peter said he did. In each case, Jesus told Peter to care for God’s people.

Peter had denied Christ three times the night before the crucifixion. Now Jesus gave him a chance to change his denial to confession. This threefold assertion of love for Christ was a moment of forgiveness and restoration.

The final words in this exchange are illuminating. Christ commanded Peter, “Follow Me” (verse 19). Action was necessary.

Do you deny Christ?

There’s no doubt that words are important. We should never allow ourselves to deny Christ with our mouths. Equally important, though, we must remember that our words reflect what is in our hearts (Matthew 12:34).

We can claim to confess allegiance to Christ but deny Him with a half-hearted approach to the Christian life. Remember, Jesus spoke of being willing to take up our own individual crosses, thus denying ourselves (Matthew 16:24).

It is impossible to put Christ first if we continue to put ourselves first. To decide for ourselves, without regard to God’s will, is to deny both Jesus and the Father, regardless of what we say.

What this means is that we must align our lives with God’s will. To do so, we must search Scripture to learn what God expects, and then we must strive to live “by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4).

Avoid denying Christ

So how do we avoid denying Christ before men? Here are a few examples of situations that require us to choose between denying or confessing Christ:

• You’re an accountant, and your boss is pressuring you to “fudge” the numbers. You can satisfy your boss, or you can do what you know to be right.
• You’re a teacher, and the school district is directing you to teach that homosexuality is a legitimate lifestyle when you know it is in opposition to the clear instruction of Scripture.
• You read an offensive post on social media. You can respond in anger, or you can calm down and move on.

Life is full of choices, and no one makes the right choice all the time. We are all sinners. In one way or another, we have all denied Christ.

While we remain in the flesh, we will have our moments of weakness and failure, just as Peter experienced. But we cannot remain in that state.

We cannot continue to deny Christ, but must recommit ourselves, just as Jesus led Peter to do. And we can be encouraged by the way Jesus lovingly restored Peter’s relationship with Him.

Study more about what we can learn from Peter’s denial and repentance in our article “After Sin: Lessons From Judas and Peter.”