As a new Christian, I knew that Satan and his society were major enemies. But I hadn’t fully seen the enemy who had the power to destroy me—my own worst enemy.
I hadn’t been a Christian long. I was working my way through college with a part-time job when I was shocked by some bitter news.
It was the day I met my own worst enemy.
Meeting my own worst enemy
This moment came when I was eating lunch in the college cafeteria. I was sitting among several other students who worked at the same place. Because I was in my second year in that work, I had a supervisory position.
I overheard one of those students refer to me as a “drill sergeant.” I was very surprised, so I questioned her comment. But another student spoke up, agreeing with what she had said.
This was a distressing revelation to me.
My self-perception had been entirely different. In my mind, I was too soft and a little weak as a leader, not a harsh taskmaster. In this brief moment, I understood that I had deceived myself.
As I thought more about it later, I began to realize that I was my own worst enemy. Knowing about Satan, I had previously thought of him as my worst enemy.
The “roaring lion”
Satan the devil is truly the enemy of all humanity. From the time of his rebellion against God (Isaiah 14:12-15), it has been his goal to thwart God’s plans, and that includes destroying us.
He began by deceiving Eve, luring her into disobeying the Almighty God (Genesis 3:1-6). He even attempted to destroy God’s plan of salvation for humanity by trying to lure Jesus into sin (Matthew 4:1-11; Luke 4:1-13).
I realized that if I had been so wrong about this, there might be other sins I had hidden from myself.
Satan continues in his quest, walking about “like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Yet the Bible shows he does not have unlimited power to destroy us. He can do only what God allows.
This is clear in the first two chapters of the book of Job. In two instances, God allowed Satan to test Job’s commitment and faithfulness. But in neither case was Satan allowed to destroy Job.
Satan does not have the power to destroy you or me. But we do! Each of us has the capacity to make wrong choices that, unless repented of, can lead to eternal death. In that sense, we can be our own worst enemies.
Faithful in little
My aggressive approach to leadership in my youth might not seem extraordinarily sinful. Could it really be dangerous to my spiritual life?
I came to the conclusion it could be. I recognized that my harsh treatment of others may well have caused offense among my fellow students.
Christ warned His disciples about causing offenses. Using a memorable image, Jesus said that whoever offended even “one of these little ones” would have been better off “if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea” (Luke 17:2).
God clearly cares about how we treat other people, so even this seemingly little sin was a serious matter for me to address.
And I saw that this hidden sin was only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. I realized that if I had been so wrong about this, there might be other sins I had hidden from myself.
I knew then that I had to change, and that meant I had to repent.
Repentance and your own worst enemy
Repentance is an ongoing key to the Christian life. It is not a one-time event, but a lifelong commitment. Unfortunately, repentance is not possible until we first begin to see ourselves as we really are.
That is difficult for all of us, and it is impossible without God’s help.
That’s why God, through His prophet Jeremiah, spoke of the human heart as being “deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked,” and then asked, “who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). God quickly answered the question, saying “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind” (verse 10).
Our sins and faults are secret because we so easily deceive ourselves. King David understood this human tendency. Though he was “a man after [God’s] own heart” (Acts 13:22), his life story includes one of the greatest examples of self-deception.
While king, David not only committed adultery with the wife of one of his soldiers, but also arranged to have that soldier killed in battle (2 Samuel 11). It wasn’t until the prophet Nathan confronted David with his sins through a parable that David was able to comprehend the enormity of what he had done (2 Samuel 12:1-15).
This incident is illuminating in another way. David was not ignorant of God’s law. He knew that adultery and murder were wrong. But somehow, in his own situation, he could not see himself objectively.
“Truth in the inward parts”
This experience inspired an emotional and inspiring poetic prayer. David spoke to God, acknowledging, “You desire truth in the inward parts” (Psalm 51:6) and asking for God’s cleansing (verse 7).
David also knew that he needed help to recognize the sin in his heart. Another of his compositions reflects this understanding: “Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults” (Psalm 19:12).
Ironically, it’s often easy to spot the sins of family members, friends, coworkers and associates. What isn’t so easy is seeing our own (Matthew 7:3). Like David, we need help.
The Helper
That help comes from God’s Holy Spirit. Jesus promised that “the Helper, the Holy Spirit” (John 14:26) would “teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”
That Spirit helps us remember the teachings of Jesus—words that guide us through life. The Spirit also gives us discernment, helping us understand “the things of God” (1 Corinthians 2:11).
Only when our hearts are open to truth, real truth, will we begin to see ourselves as we are. Only then will we be able to repent of our sins. After all, how can you repent of something you cannot see?
God wants us to see. He is looking for sons and daughters to worship Him “in spirit and truth” (John 4:23). But I have an enemy—and so do you—who does not want me to see.
Examine yourselves
God not only provides His Holy Spirit to open our minds, He also gives us another tool to be used with the Spirit. That tool is self-examination.
The apostle Paul wrote to the church at Corinth just before Passover, exhorting members to look at themselves closely:
“Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup” (1 Corinthians 11:27-28).
Self-examination should not be limited to the days and weeks leading up to the New Testament Passover service. Christians should always be willing to look at themselves honestly with the help of God’s Holy Spirit.
Tips for self-examination
If you’ve never tried to examine yourself, you may feel at a bit of a loss as to how to proceed. Here are a few tips:
- Ask God for humility. We will never see ourselves clearly if we resist the truth. Humility enabled David to see himself in Nathan’s parable.
- Ask God for guidance and resolve as you begin to examine your character. No matter what you do as a Christian, you need God’s guidance, and you need the strength to see the task through.
- Study the Bible, specifically thinking about how it applies to you. Consider how you might have reacted to tests and trials recorded in Scripture, and consider how the heroes of faith would have handled situations you have encountered.
- Consider asking friends and family, those who know you best, for an honest evaluation. This can be tricky, because you don’t want to put them on the spot, nor do you want to embarrass yourself publicly. Among the individuals closest to you, choose two or three of high character, and ask them privately. Give them time to think it over before telling you. I met my own worst enemy because two friends were willing to tell me the truth.
Confronting my own worst enemy
That day in the cafeteria was a wake-up call. I had come face-to-face with the only enemy who has the power to destroy me. I had, in effect, seen my reflection in the mirror.
It was painfully clear that I really did not understand who I was deep down. I began to look at myself more closely, but to this day, more than 40 years later, I continue to discover “secret faults.” I must remain vigilant.
Thankfully, we can go to God and He will be there to provide the help we need to overcome and change (Hebrews 4:15-16; Isaiah 41:10; Romans 8:37).
What about you? Have you met your own worst enemy, and are you ready to confront that enemy with God’s help?
About the Author
Bill Palmer
Bill Palmer has devoted much of his life to writing and editing. He studied journalism at TCU in Fort Worth, Texas, prior to attending Ambassador College in Pasadena, California.
