How to Have More Patience

Do you ever find yourself struggling to have enough patience? Life just seems to require so much patience—often more than I thought I had! 

Patience with family, friends and other people, with traffic and the government. 

And patience with myself.

Having patience is a very important trait.

What the Bible calls “longsuffering”

In both the King James and New King James Versions of the Bible, the fourth fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22 is translated as “longsuffering,” or in modern vernacular, “patience.” 

Peter reminds us that God does not forget the promises He’s given to us, but He is careful and patient. In fact, we read that God is “longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

Patience is a part of God’s nature and character, and it’s something He wants us to be developing as well. And, as I’ve already noted, it is a quality that seems to be in very short supply in our culture.

A culture of impatience

Today, we often don’t have to wait, and as a result, many never learn to be patient.

Instant messaging. Fast food. Overnight or two-day shipping on almost anything. Who cares about patience—developing that quality just takes too long! Multiple studies show a marked decline in how long the average person waits before becoming impatient.

Many people feel modern technology is to blame, and a 2015 study by Microsoft, published in Time magazine, seems to at least partially confirm that suspicion. The title alone is telling: “You Now Have a Shorter Attention Span Than a Goldfish.” This study revealed the average person’s attention is interrupted every eight seconds, likely a byproduct of our increasing reliance on technology.

Our general impatience tends to create a problem of character.

Remembering that God is always in charge, and there is always something to learn from our trials, can make them easier to deal with. And it helps us grow in patience. A study published in 2007 by the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston’s Research Center for Behavioral Economics and Decision-Making revealed that the general decline in patience tends to lead people to become engaged in riskier behavior. This was measured by looking at poor financial decisions, which led these people to have lower credit scores and generally higher default rates when paying back their debts.

We should contrast the general impatience in society with the Bible’s instructions for us to learn to be patient. David wrote about the need to “wait on the LORD” numerous times in the Psalms.

It seems he saw that need in himself, because God doesn’t always work as quickly as we would like! It often requires patience to wait until we see what He is going to do!

How to grow in patience

Are you and I patient enough? Probably not. So, how can we learn to grow in patience? Here are a few thoughts:

1. Seek to have more empathy.

When we become impatient with people, it can be helpful to try to put ourselves in their shoes.

The ability to think outside ourselves and our own immediate needs or wants—to consider what people around us are facing—is important.

It helps us understand them a little better and perhaps give them the benefit of the doubt. It helps us be a bit more patient with them.

2. Show more gratitude.

When we are impatient, we are focused on what we don’t have. (Or what is taking a long time to come—like waiting in a long line at the store when we are in a hurry.)

When we make it a habit to be more thankful, we focus more on what we do have and what we should be thankful to have. As Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “In everything give thanks.”

3. Deliberately take a breath and slow down.

Many of us have heard the old adage “stop and smell the roses,” and there is a lot of wisdom in that! The demands of life can be so intense, and we can run so hard all day every day, that we never take any time to appreciate what we have and all the beauty around us.

Taking a moment to watch a robin in a birdbath or to look at shapes in the clouds that float overhead can help us to appreciate what God has created and can give us more of a sense of peace.

Jesus told His followers to look at the birds who fly carefree because God takes care of them and at the beauty of a flower as God created it. We can then remember that the Creator who cares for the birds and flowers will certainly take care of His children (Luke 12:24-32).

4. Consider God’s level of patience with us.

This is kind of scary to consider, but how patient has God been with you and me? How many times have we failed to grow, learn and overcome as we should have? How many times have we come to Him, asking for repentance and forgiveness, and had Him willingly, lovingly and patiently grant our requests?

Jesus’ admonition to His disciples to forgive others up to “seventy times seven” instances (Matthew 18:22) shows us the level of God’s merciful love for us too. How many times has He patiently waited for us to learn a lesson He wants us to learn? How many times has He then waited for us to make changes? Yet He is faithful and patient waiting on us.

Meditating on how much patience our Father demonstrates to us gives us perspective on the level of patience we need to exercise. Waiting on God to answer our prayers becomes a bit easier when we consider how much and how often He waits on us!

5. Look for the lessons in trials.

Perhaps you’ve heard about the man who asked his pastor to pray for him to have more patience. The pastor began to pray and asked God to give the man challenges, trials and difficulties to overcome. The man interrupted his pastor and exclaimed that wasn’t what he had asked for!

The pastor replied that was indeed what he had asked for, because the Bible makes it plain that trials and tribulations are what build patience.

He was right. As James wrote, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience” (James 1:3).

Remembering that God is always in charge, and there is always something to learn from our trials, can make them easier to deal with. And it helps us grow in patience.

Many authors have written hundreds of articles and books on how to develop patience, but perhaps these five simple points will give us each something to think about and a start toward improving our level of patience.

Patience is more than just waiting. It’s about responding in a godly way, using our time wisely and “persisting in doing what is good” (Romans 2:7, God’s Word Translation).

Study more about patience in our articles “Patience Is a Virtue That Can Build Relationships” and “Fruit of the Spirit: Longsuffering.”