A Biblical Approach to Happiness

Do you want to be happy?

Of course. But achieving lasting happiness can be challenging.

Happiness is wonderful but elusive. The more we pursue it, the more it seems to evade our grasp. No matter what we do, it seems we can’t quite reach it. And when we do manage to obtain it, we have it for only a brief moment before it slips away from us once more.

Is there a better, less discouraging approach?

The Happiness Paradox

In his book The Happiness Paradox, Richard Eyre presents the idea that three big qualities commonly thought to lead to happiness actually detract from our overall happiness. He refers to them as “joy thieves” or “deceivers.”

Eyre identifies these three deceivers—and how they steal our joy—as follows:

1. Control “makes us swim against the flow of opportunities and become less sensitive to others even as it deprives us of both faith and spontaneity.”
2. Ownership “causes us to perceive the world as a competition, to constantly compare and judge, and to develop the habits of selfishness.”
3. Independence “puts us alone against the world and develops a brittle facade of pride which hides the vulnerability that could help us to better love and be loved” (Eyre, 2019).

How the deceivers deceive

It’s important to note that there is a time and place for all three of these qualities. There will always be areas of life in which it is good for us to exert a reasonable level of control. For instance, we have a responsibility to control ourselves and how we respond to the various situations we encounter in life.

It is also proper for us to desire good things and work toward acquiring them. Similarly, possessing a certain degree of independence is necessary.

The path to happiness, though pursued by many, is known by very few. The danger, however, lies in taking these qualities to an extreme, fixating on them and viewing them as our path to success and happiness. We will never truly be in complete control of our lives. We will never be able to own everything we desire. And, try as we might, we will never function completely independently of others.

But the danger doesn’t end there. In addition to being unattainable, the unbridled pursuit of these qualities can actually be harmful. As Eyre explains, when we become overly fixated on gaining control, ownership and independence, we become increasingly prideful. When viewed in this light, it becomes clear that the “deceivers” are aptly named because they promote the mindset of the deceiver himself, Satan the devil.

Eyre’s ability to identify the potentially harmful nature of these qualities is insightful. And for those who look to the Bible for guidance in all matters of life, books like this spark an even more intriguing question: What does the Bible say about happiness and how to achieve it?

Three biblical alternatives

Eyre’s book suggests three antidotes: serendipity, stewardship and “synergicity” (a word he coins by combining synergy and synchronicity).

From a different perspective, let’s instead look at three biblical alternatives to the three deceivers. (You’ll see overlap in the second one.)

1. Surrender control to God

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that greater control will lead us to greater happiness and increased feelings of peace. Interestingly, some common antonyms for “control” are powerlessness and helplessness. This reveals just how negatively our society views the idea of relinquishing control.

Our desire for greater control often stems from a fear of the unknown. This fear prompts us to seek control over as much as we possibly can in order to minimize the damage unforeseen circumstances can cause.

At other times, our perceived need for control comes from concern for self-preservation or self-advancement. By being in charge of a situation, we think we can ensure the outcome we desire—the outcome that will benefit us the most.

But what does the Bible say?

Scripture instructs us to relinquish control of our lives to God, humbling ourselves under His mighty hand (1 Peter 5:6-7). Rather than falling for the lie that we should strive for greater control so we can better achieve our own will, we can take comfort in the knowledge that God has complete control and will work things out for our ultimate benefit according to His will (Romans 8:28).

But this is much easier said than done. We know we have to let God take the reins, and yet, when the pressures of this life begin to build, the idea of yielding control feels so unnatural. But it is the exact thing that will work.

Surrendering control means seeking God’s will above our own and living according to His law (Psalm 1:1-2). When we do this, trusting that He will take care of us, we can begin to experience the true happiness we long to achieve.

See “How to Surrender to God” for more on this subject.

2. Become a good steward of God’s blessings

Everywhere we look we are constantly being shown what we don’t have and how much better our lives would be if we could just acquire certain things. Social media encourages us to compare ourselves to what we see online. These tactics can be difficult to resist, even when we recognize them.

While this certainly applies to material possessions, it can also extend to things like recognition, status or opportunities. And though we know the value of being content with what we have, watching others enjoy the things we desire can spark feelings of jealousy. And once that spark is lit, Satan works to fan the flames.

Our article “What Does Covet Mean in the Bible?” further expounds on the dangers of this mindset.

If you’ve ever experienced this feeling, you know that it is a far cry from the happiness we each truly desire. So, how do we avoid this obsession with ownership and its ugly side effects?

Richard Eyre identifies a biblical concept that can help us counteract an unhealthy desire for ownership: stewardship. Being a steward involves taking responsibility to care for, protect and maintain something we do not own but that has been entrusted to us.

Everything we have comes from God and ultimately belongs to Him. Any ownership God grants us is temporary, and He takes note of how we respond to these blessings. How are we caring for God’s possessions that He has so graciously entrusted to us?

When we view life through the lens of stewardship, we develop a better appreciation for how little we actually have apart from God, for how special God’s blessings are and for how important it is to share our blessings with others (1 Peter 4:10). See “Faithful Stewards” for more.

3. Rely on God

Our society values being independent. But is that what we should really want? Is it truly what’s best for us?

In reality, placing so much importance on independence can leave us without the vital help we need. We also risk becoming estranged from our loved ones and from God.

There are many passages in Scripture that illustrate the bonds we develop with others when we work and live interdependently (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Proverbs 27:17; Galatians 6:2). But, as important as these relationships are, we have one relationship that is far more critical: our relationship with God.

Asking for help can be difficult, especially if we view needing help as a sign of weakness or incompetence.

God doesn’t view it this way. As our Father, God knows we must rely on Him, just as a young child must rely on his or her human parent. And He wants us to rely on Him. To learn more, read our article “Depending on God.”

When we turn to God and express our sincere need for His help in the areas of life that are beyond our control, it pleases Him. When we ask, seek and knock, He delights in responding to our needs (Matthew 7:7-8).

Our culture of fierce independence will inevitably lead to burnout. We know we can’t rely on ourselves for everything all the time, and trying to do so ultimately leaves us feeling discouraged and defeated. This is how Satan wants us to feel.

But God wants us to experience the wonderful sense of relief that comes from knowing we don’t have to rely on ourselves alone.

The true keys to happiness

The path to happiness, though pursued by many, is known by very few. Culture and society will continue their quest, deceived into believing they can crack the code to lasting happiness. Meanwhile, we are blessed to know that the real keys to happiness are found within the Bible.

“He who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he” (Proverbs 16:20).

For a deeper study on the subject of happiness, see “What Is Happiness?” “The Source of True Happiness” and “How Do You Measure Happiness?”