The Seventh Commandment: You Shall Not Commit Adultery

Objective

To understand the meaning of and how to apply the Seventh Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.” 

Summary Statement

Read or summarize the following to your children:

In the Seventh of God’s Ten Commandments, He tells us that we are not to commit adultery. But what does that mean?

To commit adultery means to be unfaithful. Being unfaithful means that another person cannot count on you or trust you. Someone who is unfaithful is someone who breaks promises. People can be unfaithful in their relationships with other people, and they can also be unfaithful to God. We want to be people that God and others can count on. We want to be people who can be trusted to keep our promises.

Helpful Scriptures

Exodus 20:14 – “You shall not commit adultery.”

God gave the Seventh Commandment at Mount Sinai. There are two big lessons to learn in this commandment. The first is for husbands to be faithful to their wives and for wives to be faithful to their husbands. When a husband and wife are joined in marriage, they will be best friends. As best friends, they will want to ensure they are loyal to each other. The second is for everyone to be faithful to God and the promises they make. Even as a kid, you can keep this commandment by being faithful and keeping your promises to God, to your parents, to your teachers, and to your friends.

Proverbs 18:24 – “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Other translations of this verse, like the Complete Jewish Bible, say, “Some “friends” pretend to be friends, but a true friend sticks closer than a brother.” The New International Version puts it this way: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Good friends are not only kind but they are people we can count on to be there for us, and we can trust them to keep their promises.

God shows us the importance of being a good friend. Good friends stick close to us, just like God does! They don’t pretend to be good friends and then do something to betray our trust. Good friends are not only kind but they are people we can count on to be there for us, and we can trust them to keep their promises. That is the kind of friend we should always try to be. 

Matthew 7:9-12 – “Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

If someone you thought was a friend did not stick up for you or told someone else something mean about you, how would you feel? You would not like it! God is telling us that if there is something we would not like another person to do to us, it should be something that we never do to anyone else, either.

If you asked your parents for a piece of bread to eat, maybe some delicious peanut butter toast or a bun for a hamburger, would you like it if they gave you stones to eat instead? Of course not! Your parents would never do that! Your parents want to give you good things, and God wants to give you good things even more! We must be the kind of people who want to do good things for others. That is how you can be someone others can count on and trust.

Deuteronomy 23:21 – “When you make a vow to the Lord your God, you shall not delay to pay it; for the Lord your God will surely require it of you, and it would be sin to you.”

God knows that we will live happier lives if we have good relationships. An important way to keep our relationships strong, with our moms and dads, with brothers and sisters, with friends, and with God, is to keep our promises. In this verse, God tells us that when we make a vow (which is another word for promise) to God, we need to keep it! We shouldn’t put it off and say, “I’ll do it later.” If we tell God we are going to do something, but then we do not faithfully do it, that is a sin.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.” 

A faithful husband, wife, or friend will be there to help you up when you fall down.

There are blessings (or “a good reward”) that come from keeping the Seventh Commandment. A faithful husband, wife, or friend will be there to help you up when you fall down. They will support you when you are going through a challenging time. If you are not faithful but turn your back on your family and friends, then you will be alone and will not have anyone to help you. God loves you and doesn’t want you to be alone. That is why He tells us all how to have good relationships.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.”

This verse talks about two more things a faithful friend or family member does for others. A loyal friend gives comfort and encourages (another word for “edifies”) others. If your friends are feeling sad, give them a hug and comfort them! Someone who is unfaithful would choose not to be there for friends who are feeling sad. If your friends had a bad day, you would encourage them with kind words and do something to cheer them up. Unfaithful friends are not there for you when you need them. We want our friends and family to be there when we need to be comforted and encouraged, so we do the same.

Activity

Book of Promises

Supplies needed:

• Paper (construction, cardstock, or computer paper)

• Coloring tools (markers, colored pencils, crayons)

• Scissors

• Glue

• Stapler or a hole punch and yarn to tie book together.

• Optional: Miscellaneous decorations for book (stickers, glitter glue, foam shapes, etc.)

We are never too young to practice being loyal and faithful! The purpose of this activity is to help teach our children that when faithful people make a commitment to do something, they keep their word. When we make a promise to God, our family, friends, or anyone else, we follow through and keep it!

There are many commitments children can make to practice being faithful and keeping their promises. Brainstorm with your children three things that they may find challenging to do consistently. Ask them to make a commitment to do those things by creating a book of promises. If your children are having difficulty coming up with three different promises, have them think of one promise they can make to God, one promise they can make to a person they know (family member, friend, teacher), and one promise they can make to be helpful.

Below is a list of a few ideas of promises that your children may want to commit to doing.

• I promise to make my bed every day.
• I promise to do my homework each school night.
• I promise to read for 30 minutes each night.
• I promise to pray to God every day.
• I promise to unload the dishwasher after dinner.
• I promise to tithe every time I get my allowance.
• I promise to clean my room every day.
• I promise to be kind to my siblings.
• I promise to be respectful to my parents.

Once your children have come up with three promises, have them create their Book of Promises. The book will have a cover page, a page for each promise, and a back page. You can choose to cut each piece of paper in half to create a smaller book or use a whole piece of paper for each page to make a larger book. Once laid out, the pages of the book will look like this:

Directions

Instruct your children to write “Book of Promises” and their name on the cover. Then decorate the cover.

On the first inside page, have your children write their first promise. On the next page, draw a calendar for one month. Each day (or week, depending on the time frame of each promise) that your children successfully keep their first promise, your children can either check it off or put a sticker to mark that they kept their commitment for that day or week. Continue writing each promise and calendar on separate pages and decorate each page until the book is complete.

Staple all the pages together to create a book. A second option would be to stack all the pages together and use a hole punch to put three holes along the left side of the pages. Cut three strings and then loop a string through each hole. Tie each string into a knot to secure the pages together to finish the book.

Discussion

Living the Seventh Commandment

Below are some examples of discussion starters to help your children understand more deeply the meaning of the Seventh Commandment and how to apply it in their own lives today.

Question: Why does God say it is important to be faithful?

Hint: God tells us that it is important to be faithful because those who are faithful have better and stronger relationships. Trust is a big part of being a good friend, son, daughter, husband, wife, mother, father, student, employee, Christian—every relationship! God wants us to have a life full of joy and peace and love, and one of the ways we can have a life like that is to be faithful to God and faithful to our families and friends.

Question: What are some ways that you can show your family and friends that you are someone who can be trusted and counted on?

Hint: Think of the people in your life that you trust. How do you know you can trust them? The things they do are the same things you can do to show that you are a trustworthy person! Some action steps may include:

• When friends said they were going to do something for you, they did it—and you didn’t have to remind them!
• When you were talking, you could tell your friend was really listening to you.
• When you felt sad, your parent gave you a big hug and made your favorite treat.
• When your friends said that they were going to come over to your house to play with you, they showed up instead of canceling and doing something else.
• When you and your friends were together, your friends paid attention to you; they did not ignore you.
• When you were having a bad day, your friends sent you messages that cheered you up.

Question: What are some promises that God has made to you? What are some promises you have made to God?

Hint: God makes a lot of promises to us in the Bible. He promises to never leave us. He promises to forgive us. He promises to guide us and help us to make the right decisions. He also promises us that Christ will return to the earth to set up a perfect government, and we will get to live forever with Him in His Kingdom! God shows His faithfulness and love for us by keeping all His promises. We show God our faithfulness and love for Him when we keep our promises. Some of the promises we make to God include telling the truth, keeping the Sabbath holy, paying our tithes, praying to Him, and so on.

Further Reading

The Seventh Commandment reminds us of the importance of faithfulness in all our relationships. The following Bible story from Life, Hope & Truth talks about the life of Joseph. When Joseph was sold to Potiphar, he quickly rose to have an important position in Potiphar’s household. But Potiphar’s wife tried to get him to sin. Joseph remained faithful to God and refused to commit adultery with Potiphar’s wife. Even though at first it seemed like Joseph was being punished for keeping God’s commandments, God worked out everything for good and Joseph became a leader who helped to save many people!

Joseph: The Slave Becomes the One Who Saves